
An Open and Not-So-Shut Case
In today’s business world, one thing is certain: email marketing is at an all-time high and going higher all the time. Some companies, some campaigns have been very successful. Very successful. Others? Not so much.
Of course, the major advantage of email marketing is the cost. Not only are the costs low, the barriers to entry are equally as low. You can launch an email campaign with relatively little cash.
How do you know when it works?
Another major advantage of email marketing is the availability of tracking analytics. Open rates. Click through rates. Unsubscribes. Who opened it and when. Etc., etc., etc.
The bad new is that open rates – one of the more significant barometers – can be deceiving and/or misleading. According to Constant Contact, the average open rates for email campaigns range from 17-32 percent depending on your list, the industry, your message, etc. The bottom line is that if your email campaign is registering open rates of around 30 percent, you’re doing pretty darned well.
So, as soon as someone clicks on your email, it’s been opened. Right? Not so fast. According to superoffice.com, not until “the reader enables images in your email to be displayed in the preview pane or in a full view of the email” is your email considered “opened.” This is determined by a “tracking pixel” which is loaded when someone opens the emails. If images are blocked or auto-downloaded, the open might not be tracked — or it might be falsely recorded. It all comes down to an industry accuracy rating of “moderate.”
Conversely, “high” accuracy is typically attributed to “delivery status” as tracked by notable providers such as Gmail, Outlook or MailChimp. This is simply an electronic register generated from receiving servers. Also “high” in reliability are “click rates” which are easily tracked when an email is redirected to a third-party URL.
Low, medium or high, for the most part email statistics are mostly reliable – though not 100 percent. It can be difficult, for example, to square email stats with website analytics. We had an experience where a trusted name in email marketing (who shall remain nameless) showed 100 clicks from our email to the client’s website. The problem was the website analytics didn’t show 100 clicks from the email. Something or someone is off the mark.
Who do you believe? Barring any technological catastrophe, reputable email providers generally can be trusted — at least, if nothing else, to provide comparative data. And, generally speaking, the data generated by reputable email providers should be sufficient to plan your next steps.

“The speed of communications is wondrous to behold. It is also true that speed can multiply the distribution of information that we know to be untrue."
— Edward R. Murrow, an American broadcast journalist and war correspondent
BUSINESS UPDATE
According to the San Francisco Chronicle, car break-ins in the city have plunged from 28,500 in 2017 to 8,500 last year thanks to a focused police crackdown, but it’s created a new kind of victim: the auto glass shops that serviced cars with glass shattered by thieves.
As many in the city rejoice at smash-and-grab break-ins being at a two-decade low, garage owners and their staff lamented to the newspaper that their phones aren’t ringing like they used to. One manager said that they used to get as many as 80 calls a day and now they get around 20. Though they stressed they weren’t hoping for more criminal activity, those in the auto glass biz noted that they’ve had to take measures like shorter hours and have considered layoffs as their customer count dwindles
— Morning Brew

Planning A Sexy Vacation?
Ah, the month of May and the specter of summer vacation looms large across the American landscape. Families by car, couples by plane… so many of us want to be somewhere else. But where?
If you’re feeling amorous, you might want to plan a sexy vacation. If so, tripadvisor.com and fodors.com are on top of it and have some romantic suggestions for your consideration. For those who want to play it conventional and are looking to stay stateside, virtually right next door, there’s Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Feeling a little more daring, you might want to visit Oral, Tennessee or you can drive about 260 miles down Interstate 75 to Big Bone Lick, Kentucky. And you can have a happy ending to your trip in Climax, North Carolina.
If your passport is up to date and you want to spread your wings, venture up to Newfoundland for stops in Dildo, Conception Bay or Eastern Tickle. If overseas travel is more to your liking, ChatGPT recommends Sex, France. If you survive, you might like to linger in Tits and Ass (Germany and Ukraine respectively). And for the ultimate in sexy travel no trip would be complete without stops in Fjuckby, Sweden and the lovely town of Fucking, Austria. (You can assure Aunt Mildred that since 2021 they have been spelling it Fugging.)
Then, if your wanderlust still isn’t satisfied, you can make your last stop in Zzyzx, an unincorporated town in San Bernardino County, California.
“Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
— Dorothy Parker,
American poet and fiction writer
KEEPERS
Orphan negatives are words that have a negative form but lack a positive counterpart. For example, "disgruntled" has no commonly used positive form "gruntled," and "unkempt" does not have a positive form "kempt" in regular use.
According to stephenliddell.co.uk, these words often come from other languages or are created by adding negative prefixes to words that don't have positive forms in English. These words highlight the complexities and interesting features of the English language.
Susie Dent, a British lexicographer, has raised concerns about the growing number of orphaned negatives and their potential impact on the language and culture. Some notable examples are:
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Gruntled: The positive form of "disgruntled," which means satisfied or content, but is rarely used.
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Wieldy: The positive form of "unwieldy," meaning easy to handle or manage, but is not commonly used.
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Effable: The positive form of "ineffable," meaning expressible in words, but is not used in regular language.
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Chalant: The positive form of "nonchalant," meaning to matter, but is not a real word.
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Cognito: If someone wants to stand out in a crowd, would he being “going cognito”?
Don’t lose your head over it. Because there is no word… capitation.


Egg on your face. When a chicken lays an egg, the blunt end typically comes out first.
— intelligentanswers.co
Just an oral fart. Cow burps might sound udderly harmless until you realize they pump out 10 percent of global greenhouse gas emissions.
— Inc.
Depends on witch way you look at it. The last woman hanged as a result of the Salem witch trials wasn’t exonerated until 2022.
— oddee.com
Yolks on you. Depending on how it’s prepared, one ostrich egg can serve as many as 18 people.
— quora.com
Had enough? Admitting defeat or submission by crying “uncle” is a uniquely North American phrase that first popped up in the written record in 1891.
— Oxford English Dictionary
XCV. At age 95 Warren Buffett will step down as CEO of Berkshire Hathway at the end of the year. Currently there are more than 6,000 95-year-olds still working in the U.S.
— MarketWatch
​Ba-a-a-d news. Government statistics show that there 4.5 sheep for every human living in New Zealand.
— Associated Press
​And they said it wouldn’t last. A Brazilian couple, ages 105 and 101, recently celebrated their 84th wedding anniversary.
— ripleys.com
​What’s the buzz about? A team of Japanese scientists claim that they can stimulate cicadas to make their buzz play Pachelbel’s Canon in D.
— IFL Science
​Dear Alma Mater. Beaver College changed its name to Arcadia in 2001 because anti-porn filters were blocking access to the school's website.
— Mental Floss
The Month of May
Month of the Month
The month of May holds many possibilities for recognition and awareness – a little something for everyone. Maybe that’s why May is Creative Beginnings and National Inventors month. Like exercise? May is Bike Month. Like your meals with a kick? May is National Vinegar Month. Like the arts? May is National Chamber Music Month. In a rut at work, May is Revise Your Work Schedule Month.
If your focus is more about today, you’ll be happy to know that May 15 is International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day.
Question of the Month
What’s the difference between an accent and a dialect?
Y’all think ‘bout yur answer. Eh?
Quote of the Month
“Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.”
— George Bernard Shaw,
Irish playwright, critic, polemicist and political activist

Get a Headstart
If you have ever thought about including a newsletter in your marketing communications toolkit, before you begin, download our free digital booklet – Getting Started with Your Newsletter – to get some basic questions answered as well as a little inspiration to nudge you forward. Be sure to check out “Something Special” at the end. Download your copy.
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A Gridiron MBA?
Maybe that’s not possible, but there is much you can learn about business from football in the book, Hard Hitting Lessons. The subtitle says it all, “Some not-so-obvious business lessons learned from playing football.”
Get your copy here!