from JPT Group | May 2023 | Vol. 16 No. 5
What Do You Call Yourself?
➔ The recent coronation of Britain’s King Charles and references to “Your Majesty,” spurred memories of some the business titles we’ve encountered – and had pointed out to us everyday “Joe’s.” Some are more entertaining/interesting than others.
We can start with one of the more bizarre titles around of late, New York City’s Director of Rodent Mitigation or “Rat Czar.” Which raises the questions: what are her pronouns; and what will she put on her resume? Of course one of the earliest contributors to this genre was the old stand by: Sanitation Engineer, i.e. garbage collector.
Human Resources is sometimes blamed for some of the more off-beat titles such as: Chief People Officer, or Chief AI Officer. Others seem to be more self-proclaimed, such as: Chief Beverage Officer (aka bartender); Transportation Troll (tollbooth operator); Randomness Manager (Administrative Assistant) or First Impressions Director (Receptionist) – not to mention Subway’s “Sandwich Artist.”
Other titles come across badly no matter how they’re presented, or how accurate they may happen to be. Consider: the Healer of Magical Creatures (veterinarian), or Champion of the Sun (helioseismologist.) Then there are the more scientific: tribologist: lubrication engineer who is not to be confused with a tricologist: one who studies baldness.
According to jobs board Indeed.com, the Marketing Department takes some of the blame as well: Wizard of Want: Marketing Director, aka the Wizard of Light Bulb Moments. Good Lord!
Lastly, there are those (actual job titles) that just leave us scratching our heads: Under Secretary to the Sub-Committee, Master Handshaker, Happiness Advocate, Bride Kidnapping Expert, Second Tier Totalist, Change Magician, Scrum Maste, Head of Potatoes, Hyphenated-Specialist, Galactic Viceroy of Research Excellence and finally Actions and Repercussions Advisor.
WTF! (That’s an acronym; not a title.)
“The majority of the convoluted job titles… are from the marketing sector.”
— Coburg Banks, U.K. recruiting firm
BUSINESS UPDATE
After some very real hiring headaches, Santino’s Pizzeria in Columbus, Ohio posted a sign saying, “"Now Hiring Non-Stupid People."
— Fox Business
I’m Falling for You
➔ The local tourist board notes that Niagara Falls was established as the ideal honeymoon destination by the French in the early 1800s. According to The History Guy, most notable among them was in 1804 when the newlyweds Elizabeth Patterson, a Baltimore heiress, and Jerome Bonaparte, younger brother of the French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, traveled from New Orleans to honeymoon there. In 1801, the first recorded newlyweds to visit Niagara Falls were Joseph Alston, later governor of South Carolina and his bride Theodosia Burr, daughter of former U.S. Vice President Aaron Burr. By the late 19th Century, Niagara Falls had assumed the title of the Honeymoon Capital of the World.
But that’s not all. According to history.com, on October 24, 1901, a 63-year-old schoolteacher from Bay City, Michigan named Annie Edson Taylor became the first person to successfully take the plunge over Niagara Falls in a barrel.
“In matters of taste, swim with the tide. In matters of principle, stand like a rock.”
— Thomas Jefferson, third president of the United States and author of the Declaration of Independence
You’d better believe it. 52 Percent of employees say that corporate efforts to build cultures of empathy are disingenuous.
— EY
Barely tolerable. A bear in British Columbia broke into a woman’s vehicle and drank 69 cans of soda… but left all the diet versions.
— newser.com
Let bygones be… At the Battle of Gettysburg 50th reunion in 1913, two men purchased a hatchet, walked to the site where their regiments had fought, and buried it.
— Mental Floss
Step on it. Thieves in Peru stole 220 shoes from a sporting goods store – all for the right foot.
— Oddity Central
Get your kicks. U.S. Route 66 stretches from Chicago, Illinois to Santa Monica, California – a total of 2,448 miles.
— uselessdaily.com
Sky rockets in flight. Scientists in New Mexico are taking birds that have been preserved through taxidermy and converting them into drones.
— Reuters
Nothing artificial here. Last January Codeword, a tech marketing agency, announced two AI “interns” as part of its winter 2023 internship class.
— HR Brew
You can bank on it. With no ATM, no website, no transaction fees and only two employees, the 100-year old Kentland Federal Savings & Loan in Indiana is the smallest bank in the U.S.
— bloomberg.com
The long and short of it. Possibly in response to the never-ending stream of “short jokes,” U.S. men have turned “to height-lengthening operations.” One California clinic expects to perform more than 50 such procedures this year.
— news.sky.com
The Month of May
Month of the Month
We’ll forgive you if you miss the month of May. It’s Better Sleep Month. Trouble sleeping this month? It might be because it’s Drum Month. If you find all this puzzling, it might be because it’s Mystery Month.
May 15th. What a day to celebrate! It’s Supply Chain Professionals Day. Not to your liking? Try National Chocolate Chip Day.
Question of the Month
What is the longest song title ever?
We’d quote you the title, but that would take too long.
Quote of the Month
“To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”
— Elbert Hubbard,
American writer, publisher, artist, and philosopher who died when the Lusitania was torpedoed off the coast of Ireland in 1915
A Gridiron MBA?
Maybe that’s not possible, but there is much you can learn about business from football in the book, Hard Hitting Lessons. The subtitle says it all, “Some not-so-obvious business lessons learned from playing football.”
Get your copy here!
