The Root of All Evil

It seems appropriate somehow that the Tearsheet should devote the lead story in its April 15 edition to money. This is the day that most Americans mourn the loss of that ever-so-precious and ever-so-rare commodity.

By all accounts money pre-dates prehistoric times. Most ancient cities were reportedly ruled by some medium of exchange. Over the millenia money has taken on innumerable forms from coins, to paper, to today’s digital currencies. Then again, there are times when “money” has no tangible form whatsoever. In a barter transaction, there is no “money” but a mutually agreeable transfer of value does occur.

Humans, being the inexhaustable geniuses that we are, over the years have developed – shall we say “odd” – ways of making money. Some aren’t all that uncommon such as dog walking, blogging, renting your car, renting yourself out as a friend, etc. Continue down that path and you’ll find people who earn cash by testing video games or food, or even subjecting themselves to clinical trials for medicines or vaccines.

Topping the list of the odd, according to Reddit, is “Selling Poop: You can sell your stool to companies that use it for research or fecal transplants. You need to be healthy and meet certain qualifications, but you can earn up to $500 for a donation.” And we haven’t even begun to look at the world’s oldest profession yet.

No matter what you call it – money is money. That doesn’t stop our creative juices from flowing however. While Puff Daddy sings about “the Benjamins,” others focus on bread, cabbage and cha-ching. There is change, “chump change” and clams. As well as “Dead Presidents,” dinero and dough. More peculiar to the U.S. we have greenbacks, lettuce, long green and loot. There is also lucre, but only if it’s filthy. And who could forget moolah and scratch as well as shekels and simoleons.

All over the world people have coined (pun intended) their own terms for their own money. Much of that can be traced to the U.S., but in the U.K. the British pound is called a “quid” or a “guinea” and Canadians like to refer to their “loons or loonies.”

Money. It’s part of the human condition. Some people love it. Some people hate it. Some people have died for it. Others marry for it. No matter if you log in a hard day’s work for it, or spend your life scheming for it, money has always been here and is not going away.

“Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.”

— Ambrose Bierce, an American short story writer, journalist, poet and American Civil War veteran